Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Dungeons and Dragons


Dungeon Master
As a nation under scrutiny to perform and ride the wave of despair as if on top of a magical unicorn awaits it's first meeting with the new leader of the United States, the billowing clouds of smoke continue to cursively cross cattle country.  But these billowing clouds of smoke aren't coming from the industrial paving machine designed to crush, drill, pump and fill - these dusts and particulate matters are from the ever-increasing speed limit of transients departing from the good graces that once were.  The wild west is becoming a ghost town.  And, as if trying to sweep up all of the crumbs and drips left below the kitchen table under the rug as if Grandma's coming for surprise dust bunny inspection, the vast reserves of black bubbled BBQ sauce is being quickly justified as eco-safe - just waiting for that green seal of approval from good ol' stool.  But if look at the subtleties of the attached link, the article's title may be misleading: 

"Oilpatch to see new rules on water use - Proposal calls for lower consumption"

To find the hidden clues of misleading writing, we can read between the lines:

"The 10-per-cent limit on fresh water is consistent with the recycle rate currently required in most thermal scheme approvals"

And in fact has been that way for the past 5 years.  These new regulations, in fact, have been an 'unwritten-rule' during this period, and the article further explains that existing oilpatch users don't need to abide to the new rules for another 5 years!  As if the government said: "here, have this free milkshake, it won't run out for 5 years, and don't worry about cleaning the toilet from the diuretic filth you regurgitate - we won't need to worry about it for 5 years, neither of us are going to be around!  Enjoy the party while it lasts boys - ha ha!!!"  When you read between these headlines, I quickly came to realize that no conservation is really happening at all!  At least not until 2014 - 5 years into the future - I wish I did believe in time travel...

Gnolls
This ploy initiated by a government-run entity has placed a temporary band-aid over our scars - like one of those really cheap imitation-brand Band-Aids with a picture of Mickey Mouse on it.  The ones that didn't last 15 minutes until the glue started seeping into the scar tissue, effecting every nerve ending of the sore, until finally the bandaid's gotta be ripped off pulling every hair follicle that gets in it's path.  When President Obama arrives, the banners of protest will be reminding him of the compromises of lost leadership - of cowboy country corporate buffoonery.   President Obama should drop breadcrumbs towards the parliamentary notices, detailing his policies of limiting executive allowances.   

The stools prop us up with some nice stirrups boys, I gotta say... - that saddle there is genuine cowhide leather - polished with the finest snake-oil my black money can buy - only gotta step up and ask for it - that's what a real cowboy does - ain't no one fraid of a cowboy when he's got his holster drawn and all the hands up...

Yeenoghu
In 2006, black biscuit projects brought a total of $14 billion of spending toward chopping, clearing, paving, tamping, pouring, craning, nutting, bolting, welding and facilitating the gross misuse of a resource.   In these projects, much moneys are spread out amongst the work force to feed the families, but in these transactions, executives, in the same year, saw their salaries, profits and dreams shoot to beyond the stars.  But even to pay out these executives, where did the remaining hundreds of millions to billions of earning go?  These millions and billions of dollars were created by the hard working busy bees buzzing away designs, meeting deadlines and realizing dreams - yet at the ceremonial point of worship and divvy of the lion's share in profits, the busy bees were handed gift coupons for a chow-down at the closest cowboy cookhouse - the rest was pulled out of the kitty and handed throughout the hoity-toity world of Robin Hood's dreams.   And now that the Sheriff of Nottingham has caught the caped crusader?   No one left to steal from the rich?  The downturn in the credit crunch has crucified the bubbling burst of the boundaries of bovine country.  Moneys are tightly bound, homes are for sale, and bandits are escaping into the night.  

Role Playing
If Canada were truly blessed to have an honorouble man in its presence, it should take the time to listen to the man's words.  To listen and hear the words of this one man, and to understand how he views how to rebuild a nation in shambles.  President Obama has the un-enviable task at hand right now - he's here to listen, understand, think and form an opinion  - that is what we should all do as well.  








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