Monday, March 16, 2009

Doped and Rotten

It was a few years back that my experimentation into the world of wonders began - the Mad Hatter found his invitation to the Tea Party buried underneath a few still life renditions of my dream's inner dance - this time by chemically altering pathways for the reuptake of serotonin - the sensation was euphoric. At the time, I had no idea what I had done to my brain, and how the hell I had rewarded it with the experience of a lifetime. My previous view of the world had been scarred up to this point, as reality had reared it's ugly head and I realized that the romp of the regulations, rules, restrictions, roadbumps, recycled ideas, rotten garbage and ruined castles were overwhelming.  But at this one point in time, and at that moment, for no apparent reason, my shoulders had goosebumps, and I somehow found a way to feel my consciousness - I peaked.

I then grew, and continued to wonder - how the hell did my brain alter reality so much, that inanimate objects suddenly seemed sensatiable, that waves of music seemed to bounce of rays of light, and that self enlightenment was only a phone call away. To find a mind-altering state-of being, whether they be synthesized or not, will always fascinate human beings, so long as the mystery of life and death remains locked up in our minds.

Smoked Up

The greatest religious plight facing the 21st century is this space race: to define our existence. The Christians believe they've been able to define our existence - and for 2000 years they've waited in silent prayer hoping for the Lord's return - and for 2000 years he has left each and every one of us unanswered, except in our hearts, of course - our existence is to wait for His word.   The Scientologists, well, they've defined us from beyond the stars and through the Science Fiction writings of L. Ron - leaving the description of existence to imaginative exercises of the far depths of the Universe. The Mormons, well, they got their existence from the bottom of a hat.  The teachings of Buddha provide the inner search for existence - to feel the souls around you and every single being in conscious thought - the path to Nirvana is only granted once one feel these souls, otherwise, one is trapped in an everlasting search for inner peace - those unenlightened travel for eons until the moment finally exists - existence from within to be without. Existence to the Artist takes on a more physical and expressive approach, and is defined by every paint stroke, every speech and monologue, every still frame projected to express the Self in ways that define existence to be infinite and timeless.  And the rest of us, well, we just take drugs.  

The search for existence, as I do relate with Buddha, comes from within, but only by looking without - now before this sinks in too deep down the rabbit hole and becomes a philosophical nightmare, I'll dumb it down for myself - everyone of us mindful drones wonders at some point in their life, how did we get here, how do I think? And everyone of us learned from our childhood education that birds and bees chirp at each other, and after a few wet tingles and euphoric sensations, a baby is born.   Simple answer, simple question.   This answer, however, is often a linear one, and the question is not one of linearity, the question of life and death has 360 degrees of answers, a full circle of determination.    And that is something we just don't quite know yet - we don't know our own brains.


If we examine existence in two measures, left or right, right and wrong, black and white, big or small, fat and skinny, we limit ourselves to only two paths for existence - my way or your way. It's like walking up to a fork in the road of a dusty highway, and being left unsure of what to pick. Flip a coin? May as well given the obvious asininity of the connundrum. But often too much, we ignore the infinite other opportunities of the spectrum of the fork, focus the magnifying glass into the fork, and you'll find you can walk right through and into the desert behind the fork into a million pathways - there is never an absolute left or right, right or wrong - we can live in a full 360 degrees of our minds. We can live in any reality or any defined reality of our choices.

My dreams often interpret images into perplexing stories my left brain can't comprehend. It is summarized that the right hemisphere of our brains generates dreams and creative, conscious thoughts.  The left side of your hemispherical, or circular brain, controls logic, past and future, memory interpretation, reward and cognitive intellectual thought.   The precursors to these pathways of brain waves are the circulation of two chemicals, dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine allows the brain to control the body's mechanical moves, provides precursors for motivation and reward, and balances our sleep, and allows our moods and attention to detail to awaken.  Serotonin, balances our emotions, our angers, our aggression, our temperature, our appetite, and our nutrient and energy uptake.  


For ranking right and wrong to the path of existence, we all use these chemicals, or drugs, Dopamine and Serotonin.  For the cocaine user, the religious plight brings them closer to Nirvana each time, falling into the depths of Dopamine inhibition and the feeling of euphoria.  For the Christian, euphoria is reminding to them every Sunday, with Faith-full listeners reminding us every hour of the day - it is almost like a heaven on Earth for them, if it weren't for all the rotten heathens - but the dopamine and serotonin release at the time of prayer and faith is addicting.  For the addiction of Heroin, the inhibition of pain provide those teardrops to blissful ignorance, blissful to the point of your brain shutting down the precursors for dopamine and serotonin intake and uptake, and allowing the user to ignore the reality surrounding them.  For the Scientologist, the blissful ignorance that everyone else will suffer unless homage is paid to the tetons and meters that read the tetons to have you tested brings the everlasting bliss of complete arrogance - the scientologist will be carried to heaven on a spaceship designed by hyperintelligent beings - scientologists seem to devalue to power of Dopamine and Serotonin to that of a common monkey.  For the Mush user, the power of Dopamine and Serotonin becomes their playground, their exploratory cave of mystery and wonder - how does that plant grow - the search for existence to the mushroom user goes outside the body, into the realm of that is not defined by the boundaries of your skin.  For the Mormon, skin and boundaries are bountiful, the values instilled from the bottom of the Hat are sincere, but misinterpreted, existence defined by one Smith's brain goes against logic and reasoning of the infinite paths of Dopamine and Serotonin that can exist in the human brain - circular logic can discount Smith's logic.  Logic, to the marijuana user, takes on new meanings, whether tripping to a video game or reading and interpreting things with parts of your brain otherwise left dormant - everything is chill to the marijuana user, and everything tastes good with potato chips to the marijuana user, Dopamine and Serotonin hold hands to the marijuana user.  


So in our ranking scheme for existence, we all trust that our balance of serotonin and dopamine are in full equilibrium, not too much, not too little.  Religious trustees ensure that the serotonin and dopamine are used to persuade the brain into blind faith, trust that the next prophet will return to lead us.  The faith that reincarnation and resurrection will one day cast a magical spell.  In the drug trade, these dopamine and serotonin levels are cast to dance to a different tune, determined to duck and cover chemical precursors to dive and dine on the cerebral regions of our unknown brain.  In the tune of the toot, the injection of these mind-altering devices are out of control, we don't often know what it does to our brains, and how dependent it grows on the user, the withdrawals are the reminder that we should not be tinkering with our tinkerbell boxes.   As a marijuana user, this type of dance is logical, perceptive and safe - in the world of the crack user, this type of dance is destructive.  In the light of the search for existence, we all suffer from the same consequences - why are we here?  And we all seem to come up with some type of answer - in all of our 360 degree brains.   We all want to find our heaven - perhaps we can find heaven on earth - it may just take a bit of bud, we are all drug users after all, Doped and Rotten.

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