The only regrets I've had in life, were ones that were created when I've wanted acceptance. These were the unresolved questions that simmered into the depths of my cerebrum and lay there unanswered conducting the orchestra of my dreams. The Beethovinic tunes that play in the restless and restful hours of my life created dances of tribal torture and symbiotic interpretation - leaving fragments and scars along my cortex that were replaced by the axiomic neurons reigniting past flames of memory. The regrets in my life kept me awake some nights.
One regret that kept me tossing and turning amongst the many sleepless nights, was a continuous question that had no answer - the proof that an almighty power was real. At times as a child I would stay awake in an attempt to speak to the Almighty, asking for any insignificant or significant indication of its presence - I would, in equivalence sake, be in deep meditation to God trying to make that connection - but this was a connection that never left me satisfied - my acceptance to an Almighty power was never gratified - and I lay awake in regret - with only my dreams as my eternal dance with peace. I would look to the stars for any answer - and as the universe danced, the meanings and intonations expressed by Beethoven, Mozart and Bach suddenly made sense. I looked to meaning - why things work, why things act - and the microscope grew more powerful. I began looking internally - no not quite metaphorically, but my brain was a curious one, and told me to electrify my spidey senses and look at my structure - my Atom.
Erwin Schrodinger was born in Vienna, Austria in 1887. His upbringing brought him to studies in philosophy, perception, colour theory, and Vedanta. Later in mid-life, he dedicated his works to quantum mechanics, and is his best known for his determination of quantum wave theory. Schrodinger had determined equations that predicted the wave electrons flowed and created energy. Upon befriending Einstein and no doubtingly discussing the humiliation of humanity of the Third Reich's idiocy - Schrodinger came up with the thought conundrum to tickle all the twinkles in the Physicists eye - the Schrodinger's Cat Thought Experiment. Schrodinger essentially dedicated his life to determining the mystery of the atom - how it's formed, how it's emitted, how it's energized. He came up with quantum determinations that gave Scott Bakula the leap of a lifetime - a Quantum Leap - a definition of an electron's path to the formations of all the elements in our periodic tables. Schrodinger was, arguably of course, a genius.
As an atom, matter is mostly stored in a tiny ball - similar to the tension built up from long lost memories - it's stored like the core of the Earth is molten tight. In order to possess energy and the secret ingredient to life, the atom's mass creates this magical thing called Gravity - the provider of life itself - without gravity we would be like two plastic bags dancing in the wind without a care in the world - without gravity, our waters and beers and margaritas would swell up to the little tiniest droplets of mist - only to be nanosecondly whisked away to the bare quirks and quarks of our make-up - we just wouldn't exist without gravity. Gravity provides the random paths for our electrons to spin, up or down, left or right - while also providing the essential laws to dictate our universal presence in the galaxies - gravity is the ultimate law ready to wrassle all cowboys and outlaws with a rope of invisible tension - gravity is that call to be as one.
Schrodinger's wave rides gravity to the point of exhaustion - it predicts where an electron will be at any one point in time as it vibrates across it's wavelength - Schrodinger, arguably defined the mystery of life and how we're created - he basically disproved the presence of an almighty creator with his whimsical cat purring in the background, ready to be poisoned by hydrogen cyanide. It was no surprise to me to discover he had cast aside the teachings of a Catholic father and a Lutheran mother when studying molecular theory - I had done the same in a sense - I stopped praying to God and searching for His presence as I studied the world around me. I never considered myself religious, nor of any following, Atheist, Agnostic, Secular - I didn't want the label. It's been a strange companion to not be convinced of an almighty - I've found myself more passionate for other things as I replaced my longing for acceptance from God - it seemed that as soon as I gave up my search for an answer - I lost all my regrets and no longer worried about things - I could take care of myself - I didn't need to wait for someone to come and save me - I didn't need to have the constant disappointment of waiting for that lucky Lottery ticket of life - I didn't want to gamble my existence on the roll of a dice through the roulette wheel - I didn't want to rely on chance. I took the chance that I could study my own atomic structure and understand the true nature of creationism - I studied the atom and its magical make-up of the true almighty power - the world of Gravitational force.
Three Blind Mice
Gravity, is said, to ride everything - as a modest mouse once told me. Disney had nothing on this mousey character though - this creature whispered to me that gravity calls every single piece of innate matter to eventually be as one - almost as if gravity is the true creator. Stephen Hawking theorized that the Universe was once a still-standing piece of everything - matter and mass so dense that every particle was one condensed thick ball of goop - we were all the same clump of infinite matter. The Big Bang, theorizes that at some point in time, in an instant, matter had a bang that was big, as if the wrassling cowboy fired off a shotgun round into the air to scare off the coyotes - all matter in the universe raced off to the unknown distance, feeding off all the entropic nature of chaos - breaking all the laws of thermodynamics that could ever explain its birth - the universe expanded. But in the ever expanding universe, things gravitate the wave back to one - calling every single piece of matter to be together. Somehow with gravity, the first pieces of eukariotic and prokariotic matter balanced a formula to create a spin of mystery - Life in the bubbling stew of primordial goop.
An Elephant Never Forgets
What gravity doesn't explain are left to human interpretations - but for some reason, human interpretations, specifically subjective ones - have tried to define what gravity already has - the mystery of life and the atom. The ability of humans to be sentient beings still remains a mystery, and a profoundly subjective one at that, however, as we continue to map our brains and count the precursors of Dopamine and Serotonin addiction, we continue to understand how we think - imagine that - we're discovering how we think by thinking about it - damn are humans ever cool creatures. But mimicking the great elephants search for greener pastures, we often put our hopes and dreams in the stead of a Matriarch - someone to lead us to the safety of good fortunes. Elephants are, however, more instinctive beings, following the Matriarch to the paths previously paved by elders that solved the mazes to the Garden of Eden. But with instincts, also come memory, thoughtfulness and sentience - elephants sense the necessity to mourn a lost loved one - elephants live by a code of sharing, togetherness and survival that other creatures on this planet need to mimic. Elephants are arguably, the most developed sentient beings on our planet.
What elephants lack are the eternal search for the definition of our existence - they lack Religion. Religion has influenced a large percentage of the earth - reaching an estimated 80% of the total population. The remaining population untouched from religious followings are ones who answer 'no' when asked if they believed, or do not follow any particular faithful teachings in general. Totaling approximately 20% of the world's population, they don't meet on a regularly scheduled basis like all other followers so - they simply live and pay taxes - two certainties of life - everyone lives, and everyone pays taxes. This 20% live under the balance beam of Jamaican dance, limboing through the targets placed on us from the remaining 80%.
I was amazed to discover that the largest increase to a religious following, was the faith of the Mormon church. Apparently these followers of a Smith's mimics to Mickey Mouse have increased through the spread of their Mission. It is estimated that over 50,000 youth followers, mostly male, spread their word like the catholic reach of the right - converting approximately 800 followers everyday, and an estimated 300,000 every year, mostly across areas outside the continental North America. The net worth of the Mormon church is currently worth billions of dollars today. The Church of Latter Day Saints still seems to be profitable.
Still with all these conversion, the dent in the stratification still minimizes the overall impact of the Mormon church. The secular world does seem to be holding strong. From 1990-2000, the secular beliefs have increase in the US by 110% (Source: here) - much greater than the 5% increase the Christian (includes Mormons, Catholic statistics) but short of the path that Hinduism (237% increase in US), Buddhism (170% in US) and Sikhism (338% in US) have led. However, even as they increase in numbers, the secular world is a world that is un-united - a world without a voice in North American politics - a world that outcasts them as Martians and labels like Atheist. It is actually true that most non-believers do not prefer to be labelled as Atheist, as the connotation sparks slight takes of outrage with Religious followers. The Atheist, in a sense, prefers to not discuss Religion, as the counter-points to the argument usually lead to frustration and ignorance by both parties, and a flip of the coin leaves the two antagonists left in regret.
In a sense, the sentient thought that leads to atheism, agnosticism, secularism or humanists is developed through the pragmatic determination of observations. The role of the Religious follower is the opposite, choosing to rely on a blind faith in mighty mouse while following a Matriarch not fit to follow - the Elephants will never forget your lies, your deceit and your complete lack a true gravitational calling to existence. It's time that this atheist, agnostic, non-believer, secular, cynical, pessimistic, existentialistic or whatever fucking label is applied to cast off whatever nay saying, illogical, craps hoot card games are being dealt. Down with Religion and down with regrets. The pachyderm will only live in regret when mourning a loved one - and the pachyderm will follow a true Matriarch to greener pastures... pragmatic reasoning at it's best.